tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37677556110105236712024-03-05T08:26:50.803-06:00Think and Wonder. Wonder and Think...about religion, science and faith, & human nature.DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.comBlogger108125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-31814525008024348502013-01-10T00:41:00.003-06:002013-01-10T00:44:34.241-06:00Having a Little Chat with MyselfAfter relating the <a href="http://thinkandwonderwonderandthink.blogspot.com/2012/12/my-big-toe.html" target="_blank">story of my baptism</a> to my therapist during a session of <a href="http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/emdr-what-is-it" target="_blank">EMDR</a>, I was asked to imagine what I would like to say to my 10-year-old self, the little girl who was so fearful of being eternally condemned and who felt compelled to obsess over her big toe. I closed my eyes and held the <a href="http://www.dnmsinstitute.com/theratapper.html" target="_blank">pulsers</a> in my hands, feeling the vibrations from them alternate from one hand to the other. I let my mind wander and saw the 10-year-old sitting on my lap at a pew in the church where I was baptized. I told her she didn't need to worry over whether her baptism was done correctly or whether she needed to be rebaptized. I told her what really mattered in life was not baptisms but living a life filled with love. I told her to fill her heart and life with loving others.<br />
<br />
She was clearly confused. She understood how to fulfill a requirement like baptism, but "living a life filled with love" was vague and impossible to accomplish with certainty. She wanted a neat checklist. How could she be sure she was doing this right? How could she check this off her list with certainty? "On second thought," I said to her, "forget what I just said. What I really want you to know is that you're too young to be worrying about baptism. Don't give it another thought. You're too young to understand." She smiled and relaxed. She was glad not to have to worry about her eternal fate. It was just too much for a 10-year-old. It made me smile with watery eyes to see her so relieved.<br />
<br />
DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-27949992382979251172013-01-08T23:10:00.000-06:002013-01-08T23:10:00.308-06:00Book Ideas?The book club I host at my house is discussing books to review during the upcoming year. We have identified a few books as well as several general topics of interest, so I thought I'd see if anyone out there has any suggestions for books within these topics. We have some interest in studying the historical development of ideas, especially those of a religious nature, such as the concept of hell. We have some interest in neuroscience as it relates to belief, ancient philosophers, and introductions to Biblical criticism.<br />
<br />
DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-51415668933087857982012-12-29T12:24:00.000-06:002012-12-29T12:24:54.803-06:00My Big Toe28 years ago this November I was baptized in the church building I had grown up attending. We had moved from the town in southeast Missouri where that building stood, but just 6 months after the move my family and I drove down from St. Louis just for this occasion. I was to be baptized in the church where my grandparents still attended, and where a couple hundred other people attended who had been my church family til I was almost 11. <br />
<br />
This event was prearranged by my family. A family friend who was leading the singing for the worship service in which I would be baptized called us the day before to see if I had a request for the invitation song. I didn't. He was also the same man who led singing at my dad's funeral some 22 years later. As was the custom, at the end of the worship service the next day I walked to the front of the auditorium when the invitation song began. This is what one did if baptism or confession was needed. Another woman "came forward" as well. She had mental retardation and was prone to coming forward every few weeks to ask for the prayers of the church for some particular or not so particular sin. I was irritated by this imposition on my limelight, though I felt guilty as well for being so selfish and self-possessed. Though my dad was not the minister, he was the one to baptize me. It isn't uncommon in my denomination for fathers to baptize their children. <br />
<br />
I sadly don't remember what my dad said while we stood in the baptismal font. Of course I gave my confession that I believed Jesus to be the son of God. I'm sure that my dad baptized me in the name of the Son, the Father, and the Holy Ghost, for the remission of my sins. However, what really stands out is that, as I was being immersed in the water by my dad, I felt as though my legs rose above my head, causing my toe to emerge from the water. This is a minor occurrence in a rich and meaningful event. However, what was primarily meaningful to me was the fact that my toe seemed to rise from the water, causing me concern that I was not fully immersed. In my denomination, much is made of the fact that the Greek term "baptizo" transliterated baptize means "to immerse." It was stressed in Bible class and sermons that it was of eternal significance that my entire body be covered with water for a singular moment in time for me to be immersed, thus allowing me entrance into heaven, thereby saving me from the flames of hell. Though these worries were momentarily suppressed by the long line of hugs I received following my baptism that morning, it wasn't too long before that worry crept into my thoughts. What if I was never fully immersed? What if God doesn't consider me baptized? What if I'm going to hell? I remember asking my dad on more than one occasion if I was fully immersed. He assured me I was. However, I could never fully put the worry to rest. Even well into adulthood it lingered, an embarrassment, like an unflattering family story that relatives like to rehash. What actually put an end to my obsession over whether I was fully immersed or whether I should be rebaptized was the realization that I wasn't sure I believed the tenets of Christianity that would give me reason to be baptized in the first place.<br />
<br />
If you're thinking that to be preoccupied by my big toe for the better part of 20 years indicates a strangely obsessive style of thought, you'd be correct. Most people would have either not noticed the sensation of their toe rising out of the water, or would have been easily assuaged by their father's reassurance that they were, in fact, submerged during their baptism. And most 10-year-olds would have given little thought at all to the particulars of baptism. In my defense, consequences of eternal magnitude were at stake. And I was brought up in a denomination that made a great big deal about the particulars of baptism and the consequences of ignoring these particulars. Unfortunately, something about me made these conditions much more challenging. I was developing obsessive-compulsive symptoms that served the function of helping me feel safe and in control. And a place in my life where I felt unsafe and out of control was my eternal fate. As I grew older, I felt almost as terrified about the fate of others as I did about my own. And this terror was intensified by the realization that according to my denomination, almost every person who ever lived was going to hell. Eventually, this burden broke the neurotic girl's back, giving way at long last to a faith crisis. Though several years now I've spent studying and coming to very different conclusions about my beliefs, I have felt somewhat stuck in my current position, neither free to throw off religion altogether, or to develop a different faith of sorts, one that doesn't have such a miserably worrisome start point. I've been held fast, I believe, by the burdens of my past. Subsequent posts will share my recent efforts in therapy to release this burden. <br />
<br />
DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-14234045720475077772012-11-27T00:21:00.000-06:002012-11-27T00:21:43.016-06:00Are you prepared...to run? A couple of weeks ago our family attended a preparedness fair hosted by a local LDS church. There were many booths set up around a gym and one of these offered fitness assessments. I hadn't really thought about fitness being part of being part of preparing for a natural disaster (or zombie apocalypse), but it makes sense.<br />
<br />
My boys were eager to do the step test at the fitness booth, so we made our way there. After the boys finished stepping, I was invited to take the assessment. With some hesitation I agreed. The short of it is that my level of fitness is variable. I was pleasantly surprised to earn the "excellent" rating for strength and was glad to have at least made the "average" range for flexibility (one inch away from "excellent"). However, I was just shy of the "average" rating for endurance (as measured by the step test). The trainer recommended what DagoodS has promoted before: interval training during my runs. She guessed that by the time I kick my 11 minute mile up to a 10 minute mile, I'll be into the average range on endurance. Now that I've begun interval training, I understand how this is a great challenge to the cardiovascular system (and to my ego!). <br />
<br />
My whole family is now challenging themselves as well. My husband has begun training for his eventual 10 mile race and my boys have taken on the couch-to-5K program. There is an app for it, of course, complete with a zombie trainer, that my youngest son finds quite captivating. Helping my sons run makes it a bit more difficult for me to make time to run for myself, but it's fun to have the whole family involved. <br />
<br />
I've also taken on another self-improvement project involving psychotherapy, but that will be a post for another day. (Hopefully sooner rather than later.) DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-82540860721249760872012-11-14T22:17:00.001-06:002012-11-14T22:17:35.452-06:00Still Jogging AlongThis is a quick, uninspiring post about the mundane. Anyone still reading at this point? :) Just checking in saying that I'm still around and jogging even (albeit slowly). My whole family joined me recently at a 5K. My husband and I jogged and my boys ran/walked a fun run afterward. We all had a great time and my husband has decided to kill himself with some friends this spring at a Tough Mudder event (10 mile obstacle course). So, hopefully he'll get inspired to start training soon. I only ran 31 seconds faster than last year's 5K, so I need to get more motivated as well. Hopefully I'll avoid further knee problems to prevent getting derailed from running again. I think we'll do at least quarterly 5K races to keep motivated. My boys now want to work up to a 5K so they can run in the LuvMud event in Memphis next year. What boy doesn't like getting covered in mud? I'm happy to see family-wide interest in the races. Hopefully, we can keep the interest going!<br />
<br />
DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-66504348574439438432012-09-30T23:14:00.000-06:002012-09-30T23:14:05.101-06:00Me, Myself, and II've spent the past three weekends around family. Both my and my husband's parents each took a turn visiting our home to celebrate my oldest son's birthday and this weekend we were up in St. Louis visiting my grandma who is gravely ill. And this has brought to the forefront my indecision about how open to be about my current religious beliefs. Though it's been relatively easy to keep them to myself, given the distance I live from family, there is a limit to how much can remain hidden when my worlds intersect. And one interesting thing I observed recently is that I am less concerned about these worlds intersecting than I use to be. I noted this when my husband pointed out that I had neglected to put away several religious and science books laying in the living room, which have viewpoints contrary to those held by my mom. And on Sunday night, when my mom visited, my church combined services with another church. I asked if she wanted to attend the special event and she said we should just do what we normally would. So we didn't go. And nothing was said about that fact.<br />
<br />
I have also found that some changes in my habits are impossible over time to hide. For example, I wanted my son to call and thank his great aunt for the gift she sent him. It was Wednesday night at church time. I have been very careful not to call family at this time, thus concealing the fact that we aren't at church. However, I knew this would be our only free time before leaving town. I couldn't justify failing to call and express gratitude, so we called. I knew she would be at home, caring for my grandma. And, as I feared, she asked my son if we were going to church that night. He said, "Why would we be at church?" I cringed at that comment and wanted to shrink into the couch. <br />
<br />
It is clear that I'm still conflicted about it and I find myself ducking around corners from time to time in an effort to maintain the peace and my good standing. Writing about this makes me feel ridiculous for performing such evasive maneuvers. It sounds weak and immature and pathetic, really. I suppose I should write about this more in an effort to encourage myself to have the strength to live my life without regard to who is watching me do it. That is not to say that I feel I must share all my beliefs with everyone, but it feels like I'm in a sit com, trying to pull off going on two different dates at the same time. Eventually I'll be found out, and I'll look absurd in the process.<br />
<br />
It would help if it were more clear about what I do believe. I've grown a bit weary of trying to figure it out. I also seem to be slowing down a bit physically and can't stay up as late as I use to doing my reading and blogging. However, I don't like the muddled, ambiguous place I find myself in. <br />
<br />
I'd be interested in hearing how others negotiate this place in their lives.<br />
<br />
DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-51522055888260983262012-07-18T21:29:00.000-06:002012-07-18T21:29:36.367-06:00You Didn't Pray for MeWriting has slowed down for me somewhat because I'm more accepting of my unanswered questions and less certain that I'll arrive at answers. I don't spend as much time reading and pondering the nature of God. I've spent a fair amount of time recently learning the new skill of couponing. I've spent numerous hours on blogs dedicated to couponing and bargain shopping and I've made some significant headway. <br />
<br />
However, I do need to give attention to a spiritual matter that directly affects our sons. And the matter is prayer. This is something I have largely given up on because I don't really believe that whoever or whatever I pray to is going to answer or react in any way. I don't see prayer changing anything by affecting God's behavior. Now that is not to say that I don't believe prayer can have a significant affect on the petitioner. In fact, I believe that prayer does affect our attitudes and heart when we pray. This has renewed my interest in pursuing meditation more diligently, as I think the same effects are likely achieved without the requisite belief in a God who is listening to our every prayer and responding.<br />
<br />
Out of force of habit, I suppose, we pray as a family before meals when we eat together. One night, a couple of weeks ago, my husband led a prayer before dinner, a fairly quick and perfunctory one. My youngest son was sick with bronchitis. After the prayer, my son immediately said, "You didn't pray for me to get better." He wanted this prayer, so my husband prayed for his health. It meant a great deal to both my boys, who actually sat very still and quietly during the second prayer, as opposed to trying to sneak a bite or glancing at the other brother to catch him in the act of eating. I felt guilt over this omission and wondered if the boys thought we weren't concerned enough about our son's health.<br />
<br />
In the Christian community, prayer is a primary way of communicating concern for another. And of course, if you believe prayer can change the actions of God, it is a way to improve the outcomes for others. My husband and I are raising our children in this culture, so it's no surprise they are developing this understanding of prayer. I do believe it's a valuable practice, whether or not anyone hears the prayer, but it's just so hard for me to do. I feel a need to come to some sort of way of approaching this practice, especially in the context of my family. And given that I still feel a bit on the fence about my beliefs as does my husband, it's a challenge to know what to teach our children. So, that's my current conundrum. Any thoughts? DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-76080699087221767322012-06-17T16:38:00.002-06:002012-06-17T16:38:35.481-06:00Long Way HomeRecently, D'Ma wrote a post on looking for community now that she is no longer part of her former church. The loss of community following deconversion seems to be the most painful part of the experience. I've been thinking about this a great deal lately as I attempt to enter a new congregation and assimilate. I have found small reasons to be hopeful that I will find a place there, though there are moments I feel it may be a matter of time before the discomfort of the poor fit grows too large to ignore. I often ask myself "Why?" Why am I going, week after week? I don't always answer myself. However, a week ago, I became more aware of my motivations during a workshop I attended where I learned a new form of therapy. The therapy is called EMDR and involves helping people process memories and the beliefs related to them, particularly those of a traumatic nature. There's some free association involved, which can take on a dream-like quality at times. The participants of the workshop practiced the therapy on each other. (That way we can mess each other up instead of our clients :) I chose to process a memory that was not traumatic, though it still pained me. It was related to my dad so I didn't anticipate addressing my faith crisis at all. However, during EMDR I was hit with the realization that I am partially holding onto Christianity as a way to hold on to my dad, who died 5 years ago. By maintaining the faith he passed on to me, I continue to have a sense of connection to him, despite his death. Community and connections mean so very much, don't they? Death isn't always strong enough to dissolve them. During the EMDR, I also experienced some vivid imagery that I thought I'd describe to you. It felt very much like dreaming. Feel free to draw your own conclusions about it and share how it might relate to your own experiences. <br />
<br />
<em>I found myself standing by several pools of water, intended as baptistries. My family stood nearby. I told them, "I have to go now." I walked away from the pools of water, toward a road. Abruptly, the scenery changed from a warm, green land to a frozen wasteland, as I approached the road. I stood at the beginning of the road and looked out at the snow covered land in front of me. My husband stood by the edge of the road, which I was relieved to see. I also saw dark silhouettes of people framing the road. I even saw my family slowly walking over towards us. I looked back and saw the sun shining over the pools of water. I said, "I wish the sun could come over here." Someone behind me said, "The sun can't come over here." Then I felt a warm fur coat being draped over me. I was told, "you can be kept warm with this." I still wanted the sun shining over us, but I turned and we all walked away from the water. I asked, "Is there any green here?" I wanted to see some grass, but I could only see snow. I remember being amused that some penguins waddled across our path. Dagoods spoke up and said, "Why don't we all go skiing?" (Just like him to suggest an athletic activity). We all skied, though I finally said, "I'm still cold." Someone suggested we go drink hot chocolate, which we did. Afterwards, I remarked that I still wanted to see some green. Doug B told me that he could take me to see some green but it was far away. I told him I wanted to go, despite the trip being long. He told me to climb aboard his bus and we drove off into the distance. And during the drive, I could hear the Steven Curtis Chapman song "Long Way Home" playing.</em><br />
<br />I've been reflecting on this imagery ever since and spoken about it to one of my therapist friends. Several things have come to mind. Losing the light and warmth radiating from it is the challenge I am facing. As I considered what could be the source of the light, the scene in the Bible of Jesus being baptized came to mind. As he emerges from the water, a dove descends from the sky and a voice from heaven says, "This is my son, in whom I am well pleased, listen to Him." Both God and my dad came to mind at that point. In being baptized, I believed both my dad and God were pleased with me. I could be saved and accepted by God, which of course, was pleasing to my dad. In fact, he is the one who baptized me. By rejecting the tenets of my religion, which includes baptism, I am rejecting what gave me the Well Pleasing status, a thought that does leave me cold. It means not being good enough, not being saved, not being part of a community that continues to reinforce my Well Pleasing status, providing me with feelings of warmth, acceptance, and being right. As a child, I was taught that being baptized was the path to salvation, essential for avoiding hell and being right with God. I was obsessed with being right, being perfect. I even worried about my baptism being performed exactly right to avoid being sent to hell. I never, ever felt certain about it. That insecurity about being saved was brought about by my own anxiety which tormented me throughout most of my Christian life. The idea of turning my back on my baptism? The thought literally leaves me cold. I even had to grab a blanket while I write this. <br />
<br />
Another thought that struck me about this imagery concerns its similarity to The Hero's Journey* as written about by Joseph Campbell. The Hero's Journey is a common myth found in many cultures which describes how the hero handles the adventure and challenges she must face in completing some type of quest, and the ways taking on the quest transform her. The first step of the journey is called the Call to Adventure. That's where my imagery takes place. When I decided I couldn't stay at the pools of water, I could no longer remain there in the light. I had to strike out on the cold, unfamiliar path before me. My adventure involves finding the "green place" again. A place of warmth, acceptance, feeling right, feeling saved. Of course, part of what makes this an adventure is not knowing exactly where this place is, how to get there, or what could possibly create a green place in the midst of the frozen tundra surrounding me. I suspect is has something to do with leaving behind my obsession with seeking approval and working so relentlessly at being perfect, right, and saved. I suspect it has to do with self acceptance, standing on my own two feet, and being willing to risk rejection and loss of community and status. Am I willing to walk across the frozen, dead ground, to the green space far off in the distance, without the familiar warmth of acceptance? Some of the encouraging imagery in my call to adventure was that I wasn't entirely alone on my journey. I did have family and friends accompanying me. And those of you who read this blog were there, giving me comfort in knowing I'm not alone in my grand adventure. However, ultimately, the adventure is a lonely one in that I must be the one to choose to leave behind the familiar and set off in unfamiliar territory, making decisions that no one else can make for me. This was reflected in the imagery of me boarding the bus alone. Here, I entered new steps in the hero's journey. Once the call to adventure has been accepted, then supernatural aid is given to the hero, which Doug B provided by offering the bus. Once this has been conferred, the hero comes to the next step, The Crossing of the Threshold, where she must leave behind everything known to set out on her quest. This is what occurred when I entered the bus alone and drove off toward the green space. If Joseph Campbell is right, there's much more adventure to be had (and blogged about). <br />
<br />
*Here is a graphic depicting the stages of The Hero's Journey:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1b/Heroesjourney.svg"><img alt="File:Heroesjourney.svg" height="400" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1b/Heroesjourney.svg/398px-Heroesjourney.svg.png" width="398" /></a>DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-12282020104871269902012-05-02T21:40:00.001-06:002012-05-02T21:44:00.790-06:00The Brighter Side of HellDuring my four part series on hell, eternal punishment has taken quite a beating from myself and the other bloggers who visit here (yes, pun intended). So now it's time to reflect. Is there any type of hell that you wouldn't object to? Or even a hell you would like to see remain in the picture? It certainly has staying power. And many continue to hold on tightly. Maybe there are good reasons. Especially if entrance into hell has to do with works, it can give us a sense of ultimate justice in this world. And I for one do long for justice when I see some of the horrific ways human beings treat each other. So maybe there's actually a place in my mind for some sort of works based judgement system that extends punishment commensurate with the crime. However, this does make me nervous when I reflect on my own imperfections. It's so hard to construct a system of punishment I'd actually want to apply to myself. <br />
<br />
I think hell has been used to corral and control the masses to greater and lesser extents by the church. The ultimate behavior modification system. We may use the threat of hell on ourselves, worrying we need such external controls to keep ourselves in line. Perhaps at times it does make a difference? <br />
<br />
And what if Christianity dropped hell from its doctrine? Would Christianity suffer in any way? Why does Christianity hold on so tightly to hell? When I began to question hell, I also had to question the need for a savior. If Jesus' death doesn't save us from hell, then what is it's purpose? Does Jesus' importance or value diminish if there is no eternal torment from which to save us? Does Christianity actually turn on the gates of hell?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-65150418475976402012-05-01T22:54:00.001-06:002012-05-01T22:54:30.959-06:00Mythbusters: Hell is OvercrowdedFinally I am coming to the fourth sermon in the series on hell preached by my minister. In this sermon he spends time answering the objection that too many people are destined to hell. In essence, his argument is that naming Jesus as the only path of salvation is actually the most inclusive option for God. He offers two primary supports for this position. First, compared to salvation by our deeds, salvation through faith in Jesus offers everyone a chance at salvation, regardless of their ability to be good. Here is a quote from his sermon:<br />
<br />
<em>(Timothy) Keller is saying that most people believe that the most generous and inclusive way to think about the chair to heaven is to think that any good person can sit in the chair. The way to the chair is to live a good life. No matter your religion, if you live a good life, you’re in the chair. But here’s the problem with that—what about those of us who don’t live a good life? I can’t speak for you, but I can confess about myself—there’s a lot, an awful lot, about me that is not good. There’s a lot in my life that is pure evil. That means that I don’t have a shot at this chair. Only the people who live a good life have a shot. The rest of us are left out. That doesn’t seem very inclusive at all.</em><br />
<br /><em>But here’s what God’s done. God’s said, “You know what, goodness is not going to carry the day. Grace is. So here’s how this is going to work—anyone, good or bad, can sit in this chair. Anyone—moral or immoral—can sit in this chair. I don’t care what your gender is, what your race is, or what your income is. And I especially don’t care what your moral record is. I don’t care if you’re a prostitute or the President. If you want to, you can sit in this chair.” I want everyone right now to raise your hand. You can sit in this chair. And God finishes, “The only thing I ask is, you let Jesus lead you here. He alone has made it possible for you to sit here.”</em><br />
<br />
My minister's second supporting argument is that God has done absolutely everything he could have done to bring all to salvation through Jesus. Again, another quote from his sermon:<br />
<br />
<em>Some may think that God’s intolerant for making salvation dependent upon Jesus. But what more could God have done to create a way for all people to have heaven rather than hell? What greater price could God have paid? What greater sacrifice could God have given? If that’s not the action of a God who loves all and wants all to be saved, I can’t imagine what more it would take. We don’t have to make God sound more loving by pretending that God’s going to save everyone whether or not Jesus is in their picture. If we want to make God sound loving, Jesus is the only picture we need. The cross shows how desperate God is to make sure that we, and every person, does not spend eternity in hell. There is nothing more God could have done to fill that chair. And you can bet that the God who went to such great lengths on the cross will go to similar lengths to give every person on this planet every possible chance to respond to that cross.</em><br />
<br />
In response, I must say I agree that in theory, a model of salvation based on grace has the ability to bring more people to salvation than one based on deeds. And further, if Jesus was a sacrifice for the sins of all humanity, then God has found a way to save everyone at cost to Himself. However, in the churches of Christ, you really don't discuss salvation for long before moral behavior does enter the equation. There seems to be a hybrid grace/works model that we have adopted. Usually, it is framed in terms of "I will show you my faith by my works." This allows for works to be important without them technically counting towards salvation.<br />
<br />
I confess that I still don't understand why faith must be relevant to salvation at all, if grace saves us. Why can't grace just, well, save us? Without us asking Jesus to lead us to the "chair" of salvation? And it's one thing to assert that "the God who went to such great lengths on the cross will go to similar lengths to give every person on this planet every possible chance to respond to that cross." However, where's the evidence for it? When we basically see entire countries of people living according to a Jesus-free religion, why should we maintain that they've been given every possible chance to respond to that cross, particularly when they've never heard of it? Or associate it with infidels trying to destroy them? Or find the whole Christian religion to be foreign to their worldview? And this says nothing of people raised in a Christian culture, who nonetheless reject it based on any number of factors predisposing them to disbelief and wariness of the Christian religion. Maybe what I'm saying is that even if God somehow gave everyone a chance to "respond to the cross", not everyone would be able to do so, given their culture, background, personality, experiences, etc. And if it's impossible for everyone to "respond to the cross", where's the grace in that? <br />
<br />DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-62469672400626933762012-04-29T23:43:00.000-06:002012-04-29T23:44:46.695-06:00Back in the Running Shoes Again<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
It's now closing in on the one year mark since I began jogging. The past couple of months had me wondering if I was going to have to call it quits. With my dog's relentless enthusiasm of running as my motivation, I was at the point of jogging about 3 miles most week nights and 6 miles on Saturdays during the winter. Then, suddenly, my knee began to hurt when jogging. I realized I'd begun forgetting to wear my knee brace. I resumed using it. However, it was too late. Soon, I had continuous knee pain. I began wearing my knee brace all the time and looking for the Tylenol. I stopped jogging altogether. I was about to break down and call a doctor when the pain slowly started to subside. I resisted jogging for 2.5 months and was fearful to begin again. However, I tentatively resumed jogging over a week ago. I'm happy to report that so far my knee is cooperating and pain free! I decided to only jog every other day and to nix the 6 mile runs. I'm reluctant to push my luck too far. The first couple times I went out, I felt again that miserable, sputtering beginning to my run, where my side aches, my mouth is dry, and my body cries out to just walk. However, my body is returning reasonably quickly to the rhythm of my pace. It feels good to be out again, pushing myself a bit. My dog absolutely loves it, and would go even faster if I were capable. She propels me on, rarely stopping to sniff along the way. I will enjoy a little more these times we have together, because my knee, or any other factor, may draw them to a close before I'm ready to retire my running shoes.</blockquote>
</blockquote>DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-60622267171639331172012-04-03T22:32:00.002-06:002012-04-03T22:36:03.404-06:00Gathering Ideas for the 'About Me' pageSabio, over at Triangulations, suggested I add an About Me page on my blog. I have begun that effort, but it is a work in progress. I will compose a few posts that I can hopefully link to my About Me page. I'm not entirely sure what to add to this section, so if you have any suggestions, I'll be happy to hear them.DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-60005186731627899032012-04-02T23:56:00.001-06:002012-04-03T00:01:14.407-06:00Mythbusters: Hell is UnrelentingThe third sermon in the hell series preached by my minister was on the severity of hell. He said that hell must be eternal for two reasons.<br /><br />First, he said hell must be eternal because our sin is against an eternal being. Here is a quote from his sermon:<br /><br /><em>Colin Smith explains it this way:You may say, "Wait a minute. How can any sin deserve everlasting destruction?... The best answer I ever heard to that question was given by a<br />friend of mine…He outlined the stages of the following scenario: Suppose a middle school student punches another student in class. What happens? The student is given a detention. Suppose during the detention, this boy punches the teacher. What happens? The student gets suspended from school. Suppose on the way home, the same boy punches a policeman on the nose. What happens? He finds himself in jail. Suppose some years later, the very same boy is in a crowd waiting to see the President of the United States. As the President passes by, the boy lunges forward to punch the President. What happens? He is shot dead by the secret<br />service. In every case the crime is precisely the same, but the severity of the crime is measured by the one against whom it is committed. What comes from sinning against God? Answer:<br />Everlasting destruction.<br /><br /></em>Certainly there are provisions in the law for protecting certain groups of people who have heightened vulnerability, such as children, or those who are at increased risk for being harmed due to their role protecting or leading our country, such as police or the President. I’m not<br />well equipped to discuss the law or the rationale behind it, so I appreciate any insights on this point. If the point of the stiffer penalties is to protect these groups by deterring crime, then the analogy doesn’t apply to God. He doesn’t need protection in the same sense. Even if we grant that a sin against God deserves stiffer penalties than sin against another human being, I don’t see eternal punishment necessarily following from that premise. Does anyone else? I’d be<br />interested in dissenting thoughts.<br /> <br />Second, the minister said hell must be eternal because we are eternal beings. I’m not certain that we are eternal beings and neither were the author of a number of Old Testament books, such as Ecclesiastes, Job, Isaiah, and Psalms.<br /><br />But even if we are eternal, is perpetual punishment the only option? Plenty of philosophers, such as Origen, have envisioned an afterlife where souls have the opportunity to undergo refinement until they finally reach heaven. If we have all eternity, surely that would be time enough<br />for a good proportion, if not all, to find themselves leaving hell behind. That would seem consistent with biblical passages about God wanting all to be saved. And what about an afterlife scenario where there is no punishment or reward? Why does eternity necessarily involve these two concepts? <br /><br />While it might be more neat and tidy to conclude that eternal God + eternal man=eternal hell, I haven’t been convinced that the equation must be solved this way. I feel at a bit of a loss in knowing how to address these arguments more meaningfully, so I’d appreciate any ideas from<br />either side of the debate.DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-68877080974876216752012-03-22T22:38:00.003-06:002012-03-22T23:58:13.502-06:00Mythbusters: Hell is UnlovingThe second sermon in the series on hell preached by my minister focused on the objection that hell is too severe for a loving God. He began by noting that many of the images we have of hell aren't actually based on scripture. And it's true that we can thank many <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">non canonical</span> writers and artists during the past two <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">millenia</span> for gruesome scenes of torment. In a notable instance, Dante, in the Inferno, describes public swindlers being tossed in pitch by devils and murderers being boiled in a river of blood, while gluttons languish in putrid garbage heaps and Satan sits on his throne devouring sinners and excreting them. <br /><br />However, this doesn't address the fact that very severe punishments are depicted for the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">hell bound in the Bible</span>. The minister noted 3 primary images for hell in the Bible: fire, weeping, and darkness. He stated that these images are not to be understood literally, as fire and darkness can't coexist, rendering the depictions metaphorical. He did not use this conclusion to retract his belief that hell is in fact a punishment. However, I think he must regard a metaphorical interpretation as being more palatable to those of us squeamish about eternal torture.<br /><br />The minister flipped around the argument about hell being unloving and contended that the severity of hell proves the love of God because injustice in the world will one day be avenged. God is not indifferent to the cries of the innocent. Those who have been harmed will ultimately be vindicated instead of insulted once again by finding themselves standing next to their <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">oppressor</span> in heaven. I admit that I would like to see the good and kind rewarded and the heartless and cruel punished. This argument has an appeal to me. However, eternal punishment for finite crimes seems to be what we in America call "cruel and unusual punishment". This is even more true when the crime committed is one that a person either is unaware they perpetrated or had no control over. Individuals who are deemed to be not guilty in a court of law by reason of insanity are not given the same punishment as their sane counterparts. When the issue is not a religious one, we intuitively understand the issue of unfairness in these situations. However, we seem to suspend our moral reasoning when God enters the discussion. Christian jurors who would never convict a man with psychosis of stabbing a man he mistook for a devil will accept that a child in a Muslim nation who never even hears the name "Jesus" will be condemned forever to hell if she doesn't find a way to believe in Him and become a follower. They will claim Jesus loves her and gave his life for her. All she needs to do is believe and follow him. If the one true God ultimately reveals himself as Allah, will Christians humbly accept their fate in torment, or will they suddenly start screaming, "No fair!"? Unfortunately, Christian hell doesn't seem to solve the problem of injustice. It just compounds the problem.DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-25598013258469109432012-03-21T09:57:00.002-06:002012-03-21T09:58:30.343-06:00Mythbusters: Hell is FabricatedIt's time to dust off my blog and write another post. I return once again to the subject of hell.<br />Given that the subject of hell is what kickstarted the intense examination of<br />my faith, I think it's appropriate to return once more to it. This is brought on<br />largely by the 4 part series on hell being preached at my church. Although I<br />have disagreed with the minister on most of the points he makes, I have<br />appreciated being drawn back into a topic I have largely set aside, which has<br />been mostly, though not entirely, resolved in my mind.<br /><br />I'll be devoting a post to each of the sermons preached. He has styled each sermon in mythbusters<br />fashion. The first myth to be busted was "hell is fabricated." He<br />rejected the idea that "hell was invented by preachers trying to scare the<br />laity into obedience". Perhaps preachers didn't invent it for that<br />purpose, but it is of interest to know that both ancient Greek and Roman<br />writers stated that polititians had precisely that motive in mind when they<br />created myths to keep the populace under control. In "Histories,"<br />Polybius writes,"Were the state made up only of wise men, it would not<br />have been necessary to cultivate this belief, but since the multitude does not<br />know what it wants, does not reason, and cannot contain its desires and<br />passions, it must be checked by invisible terrors and suchlike pageantry."<br /><br />My minister supported his position that hell is real by quoting scripture where Jesus speaks of hell. It's true that Matthew, Mark, and Luke all record Jesus speaking of hell, of<br />eternal damnation where the "worm does not die, and the fire is not<br />quenched" (Mark 9:48). In Matthew 25:41, Jesus recounts the sentencing of<br />the wicked by the King at judgement,"Then he will say to those on his left<br />hand, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil<br />and his angels."<br /><br />However, supporting the doctrine of hell simply by quoting Jesus without regard to the culture in<br />which Jesus grew up, the historical development of the belief in hell, what the<br />rest of scripture says, and the authenticity of Jesus' sayings on hell is to<br />ignore the bulk of material which might shed light on the matter.<br /><br />The earliest books of the Old Testament not only contain no references to punishment in the<br />afterlife, but they also contain no references to a life after death. Later<br />books, such as Isaiah, mention the good receiving life after death (Isaiah<br />26:19), and destruction for the wicked (Malachi 3:14, Jeremiah 31:40 ) but only<br />Daniel, written perhaps as late as 165 B.C., describes eternal torment for the<br />wicked (Daniel 12:2-3). Much of what is written about eternal punishment during<br />the second temple period comes from non-canonical works, such as the Book of<br />Enoch. At the time of Jesus, Jewish sects such as the Pharisees and Essenes<br />believed in an afterlife, while the Sadducees did not. The Jesus of the gospels<br />appears to view himself as an observant Jew, so it would not be surprising if<br />he did believe in eternal punishment, given the cultural milieu. There would<br />also be strong psychological motives for belief in an afterlife where a<br />reversal of fortunes could be granted. The Jews had long been awaiting a<br />Messiah to free them from oppression and restore their blessings. If a<br />this-worldly restoration appeared unlikely with the weight of the Romans upon<br />them, perhaps an other-worldly restoration would be possible. If Jesus spoke on<br />eternal damnation, would he be saying anything new, or merely echoing the<br />sentiments of his time?<br /><br />While the Jesus Seminar gives a black bead to the sayings of Jesus on hell, meaning they are unlikely to be an authentic quote, I'm not certain how much this matters. To me, the<br />historical development of hell both within Jewish culture and surrounding<br />cultures as well as the apparent influence on neighboring religions on each<br />other is an indication that hell is a human construct that evolved with the<br />changing experiences and needs of the people.DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-12043843830023910792012-03-18T00:09:00.003-06:002012-03-18T00:18:36.135-06:00Go To Church Or the Devil Will Get You<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_FEr679nD7rrasFZuk0xN4R9bkU9XCGYItRHXbJhV2jHlts8L9W94OLEV8u2oUb9Pk5wBLP_x5qXCig29HXOPWgjVxI0Y8viZBOqigoYr5TBXJHuvN2JCXbdPlTfQFmHWyWxLX8r5CGI/s1600/GotoChurchORtheDevilwillGetyou.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 320px; height: 206px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5721115449886223442" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_FEr679nD7rrasFZuk0xN4R9bkU9XCGYItRHXbJhV2jHlts8L9W94OLEV8u2oUb9Pk5wBLP_x5qXCig29HXOPWgjVxI0Y8viZBOqigoYr5TBXJHuvN2JCXbdPlTfQFmHWyWxLX8r5CGI/s320/GotoChurchORtheDevilwillGetyou.jpg" /></a>Driving home from Disney World yesterday, we saw an eye-catching billboard just north of Montgomery, Alabama. I googled it and found this photo, along with interesting news stories that have covered this billboard. It apparently has displayed the devil in his red suit for years. I decided this billboard would make the perfect segue into a series on hell that I've been meaning to do for some time. In fact, I already have a half finished post that will appear here when I finish it. I was inspired by a sermon series on hell our minister just completed and by two books on hell I've been reading as of late. In fact, I was reading one of them as we drove by the admonishing billboard. Well, it's far too late and I need some sleep before church in the morning, so I'll draw this to a close. Don't want the devil to get me! <br /><div></div>DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-29100652761599180432011-12-30T23:26:00.003-06:002011-12-30T23:50:20.387-06:00Jogging with my buddyI've had a full holiday season as well as a very busy life as of late, which in large measure explains my relative silence in the blogging world. I haven't been exercising as much as I'd like either, though I've managed to make a bit of progress in my jogging. As it turns out, our puppy is actually a fairly good running buddy. Now that she's a couple of months older, she has greatly increased stamina and speed. She now pulls me along much of the time, though she's only 20 pounds.<br /><br />On Christmas Eve, the weather was quite mild in Memphis, so I took a break from cleaning and baking to go on a run with Snoopy in the park. With her ceaseless energy and enthusiasm for running, she convinced me to run a little over an hour. Never before would I have the nerve to run more than a 5K! Her quick pace also encouraged me to pick up my speed a bit, so I currently run a mile in 10:30. That was her Christmas gift to me, and I'm very appreciative. My body responded well and seemed to want to run, even longer. It was a strange experience! I'm not sure if running longer distances makes it easier to run, but I've had an easier time since then beginning my runs. My only problem is that my right knee continues to bother me some. My knee brace and shoes help, but I'm afraid my knee isn't going to let me run longer distances. It's mildly irritated right now. And the last thing I want is to damage a joint and wind up with surgery. <br /><br />Anyway, that's my jogging update. And puppy update. Someday I'll need to post a puppy update on all the messes she's made and objects she's chewed! Sometimes I feel like we've adopted a 2-year-old child. But I've grown quite attached despite all that.DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-38020754476144501052011-11-05T07:45:00.009-06:002011-11-05T21:02:00.504-06:00A Letter to DadDear Dad,<br /><br />5 years seems like a long time not to see you. Memories aren't as clear as they were, and more of our past conversations seem to be lost in the midst of new memories taking their place. I still miss you greatly and think of you daily. I like to think that there's <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">alot</span> you'd be happy to see in the lives of your children and grandchildren. Today, though, as I remember your last day on earth, spent preaching to inmates in a Missouri prison, I wonder what you'd think of my spiritual struggle of the past 3 years. You are the one family member who I know asked many of the same questions as me and read a great deal yourself on many of these topics. Even now, sitting on your bookshelves in your office at home I see half a shelf dedicated to the question of whether there is a God. And not all the books are from the believing side, such as Bertrand Russell's book, "Why I Am Not a Christian."<br /><br /><br />I'd like to ask you why you continued your whole life in the commitment to God and Christianity within the churches of Christ. Despite the absence of your dad, your poverty in childhood, the cancer and heart attack that took you way too soon, you dedicated yourself to a life of serving God and others. What answers did you come to about suffering in the world, about eternal hell for so many, about confusing, inconsistent, and unsupported Biblical passages? Why did you decide that there is a God who is good and personally intervenes in our lives?<br /><br /><br />My guess, from comments I remember you making over the years would be something like the following: I know you admired the type of woman your mom is, who worked hard to keep her family together and sacrificed greatly for it. You probably decided that her strong faith in God is what caused her to endure abuse and poverty without self pity and live with hope and determination. I imagine you found that an example worthy of imitation. I also remember you telling me a story about finding bags of groceries on your doorstep, right when you needed it. I know you also got advice from a mentor at church to attend college to be a preacher, which led you out of a life of factory work at Ford's or Borden's and into your eventual vocation as a principal. I imagine you felt God at work during these times, though you may never have understood where he was during the difficult periods. From a talk we had while you were receiving cancer treatment, I know you wondered why you got sick while your older, alcoholic brother who has greatly mistreated his body remains cancer free. You spent your days focused on others, while he does not. However, I also know you remained grateful for your life and you refused to pray for God to heal you. You figured he'd keep you around for the right amount of time. I wonder if now you would say there is no more need for you on this earth. I, personally, would beg to differ. I don't know how much Biblical studies or <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">scientific</span> evidence played a role in your religious beliefs and faith. I'm sure to some extent they must have. However, I believe that our personal experience also plays a major role in understanding spiritual matters. In order to function in the world, we have to find a way to make sense of our experiences. I think religion offers a way to make sense of this world and to give us guidelines or rituals for navigating through it. I think you experienced the Christian worldview as offering hope for a better future in the afterlife, given this world's unfairness and suffering, and I think you believed your Christian lifestyle spread more goodness and mitigated more suffering for yourself and others than if you had embraced <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">non belief</span>.<br /><br /><br />In response, I would say that I certainly was blessed by your life and the example you provided. I and my character are better for it. I had a positive experience with Christianity growing up and watched you live what you taught me. I learned from you that Christianity can work beautifully and lead to a life of caring for others, in deep and sacrificial ways. That's the rub for me, really. After the studying I've done thus far, my conclusions don't support the Christian faith that I've experienced as a positive force in life. I don't see support for a great deal of the doctrines and historical underpinnings for Christianity, though living the Christian life and being connected to a Christian community has largely been a blessing to me. I'm feeling somewhat stuck about this. I may never reach a conclusion, though I would certainly like to do so. This world with its relentless and needless suffering and confusion over the nature of God isn't the way I'd imagine it would be with a loving, omnipotent God in control. On the other hand, there's a great number of transcendent experiences to explain as well as a great deal of goodness and love for a meaningless and moral neutral universe.<br /><br /><br />I wish we could be having this conversation in your living room after everyone else has gone to bed, as we use to do. I'll just have to imagine you sitting there patiently in your recliner, and see where that takes me.<br /><br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Your Ever Wondering DaughterDoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-43364403853285696642011-10-31T00:14:00.005-06:002011-10-31T00:41:59.496-06:00These Shoes Are Made for Running<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih-XDGYCsJucYoh44vMGNHcp7uyRIwSogylpqhhWHtu0LZQRztoVk7DChMUaHKKXQNhQ14rVjtbfiJsydP0UWjQSCZDskkXE5B1nAi0RAY4UmOgtPfwUMCzqgIDLIiBV_PydjK34M9fNI/s1600/Asics-GT-2160.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 267px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669541092261674338" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih-XDGYCsJucYoh44vMGNHcp7uyRIwSogylpqhhWHtu0LZQRztoVk7DChMUaHKKXQNhQ14rVjtbfiJsydP0UWjQSCZDskkXE5B1nAi0RAY4UmOgtPfwUMCzqgIDLIiBV_PydjK34M9fNI/s320/Asics-GT-2160.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>I finally got a pair of decent running shoes, thanks to the mud bath my prior shoes endured during the Warrior Dash. Turns out I overpronate, so I bought shoes with reasonable support. I went with the Asics GT 2160 (pictured on the right) and immediately took them out for a test 5k. I really put them to the test by running on a paved trail, though I still wore the knee brace on my right knee. That was yesterday. Today, I am pleased to say that my knees feel great. The better quality shoes seem to make a difference for me. I wish they could also magically improve my ability to get into a comfortable rhythm when I begin to run each time. I took two weeks off running owing to illness in my family that swept through all of us to varying degrees. So, it took me a bit longer to adjust to the run yesterday. Usually, I am fine after 5 minutes, but it took a mile before I didn't feel miserable. For some reason, my eyes were watery, I found it hard to swallow, and breathing was uncomfortable. Once my body adjusted to the trauma of running, I was fine *grin.* Now that I've spent much more money on shoes than I normally would, I suppose cognitive dissonance will ensure that I continue to run! Now I need to decide which 5K race to enter next. Goals always help me stay motivated. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>( I decided to keep the photo of the shoe large to reflect the size of my overly large feet. It doesn't help that you are suppose to buy running shoes a half size larger than you normally do. For the first time in my life, I am wearing a size 10! And I'm not even tall.) </div>DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-92208712028664377182011-10-30T23:17:00.002-06:002011-10-31T00:13:47.870-06:00WorthDo you think every human being has intrinsic worth? If so, why? If not, what do you think determines value? And do you believe every human being has equal worth? Does belief or disbelief in God necessarily determine the answer to this question?<br /><br />In a group counseling class I teach, one student played the Katy Perry song, "Firework" and illustrated how she would use it to generate discussion about self worth in a group with teens. Here are the lyrics:<br /><br />Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,<br />drifting through the wind<br />wanting to start again?<br /><br />Do you ever feel,<br />feel so paper thin<br />like a house of cards,<br />one blow from caving in?<br /><br />Do you ever feel already buried deep?<br />6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing<br />Do you know that there's still a chance for you<br />'Cause there's a spark in you<br /><br />You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine<br />Just own the night like the 4th of July<br /><br />'Cause baby you're a firework<br />Come on, show 'em what you're worth<br />Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"<br />As you shoot across the sky-y-y<br /><br />Baby, you're a firework<br />Come on, let your colors burst<br />Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"<br />You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe<br /><br />You don't have to feel like a waste of space<br />You're original, cannot be replaced<br />If you only knew what the future holds<br />After a hurricane comes a rainbow<br /><br />Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed<br />So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road<br />Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow<br />And when it's time, you'll know<br /><br />You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine<br />Just own the night like the 4th of July<br /><br />'Cause baby you're a firework<br />Come on, show 'em what you're worth<br />Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"<br />As you shoot across the sky-y-y<br /><br />Baby, you're a firework<br />Come on, let your colors burst<br />Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"<br />You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe<br /><br />Boom, boom, boom<br />Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon<br />It's always been inside of you, you, you<br />And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough<br /><br />'Cause baby you're a firework<br />Come on, show 'em what you're worth<br />Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"<br />As you shoot across the sky-y-y<br /><br />Baby, you're a firework<br />Come on, let your colors burst<br />Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"<br />You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe<br /><br />Boom, boom, boom<br />Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon<br />Boom, boom, boom<br />Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon<br /><br />Does this song have the ring of truth about it? Or does it give kids false hope and set up grandiose expectations, building their self esteem on nothing but empty promises? And if a self-doubting teen who had been dealt a pretty harsh hand in life asked you why she should believe anything this song had to say, what would you tell her? And how does this relate to what you believe gives you value?DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-48923598238916941822011-10-15T23:27:00.018-06:002011-10-17T00:54:43.081-06:00I Survived the Warrior Dash<div><br /><br /><div>My husband and I survived our first Warrior Dash this past Saturday! We attended it with two of his friends from work. It was a perfect day for racing: 72 degrees and sunny. After spending the night at my mom's home, we drove an hour north to the race site. There were people everywhere. Everyone I encountered was friendly, encouraging, and relaxed. Mostly people just seem<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdY4ozBofMjL3lDi7AgC79U9CHuv7pLEL6cXMdhVbhmhGMV2371_iZ0f5A8-HLgbixqPKjBiTqJqTsLpwvTAMNFpWOMiGzHt2mIU0E_OW8ilPxlzDob92xVrLN3sINec3eUKPXpCu37Xk/s1600/R1-06635-016A.jpg"></a>ed intent on making fun memories with friends. A large portion of people were in costume, which made the atmosphere festive and lighthearted. As we jogged, we heard others along the path talking or joking with each other. As a hat tip to my friends in the blogosphere who inspired me to start jogging and attend the Warrior Dash, I wore a Yoda tee shirt, given that you all know me as DoOrDoNot. My husband wore a tee shirt with Darth Vader so that we could have a Star Wars theme between the two of us. </div></div><br /><br /><br /><div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>The pace of m<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdY4ozBofMjL3lDi7AgC79U9CHuv7pLEL6cXMdhVbhmhGMV2371_iZ0f5A8-HLgbixqPKjBiTqJqTsLpwvTAMNFpWOMiGzHt2mIU0E_OW8ilPxlzDob92xVrLN3sINec3eUKPXpCu37Xk/s1600/R1-06635-016A.jpg"></a>y 5K was quite slow! I wasn't intent on setting a personal best time. The four of us decided to stay with each other and complete the obstacles together for the experience of it. My husband and I walked most of it as he had injuries as well as an asthma flare up. The terrain was quite hilly, so even if I had jogged, I wouldn't have run the same pace as my last 5K. Had their been no obstacles, it would have proven to be a relaxing trek through the woods on lovely fall day.<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHXW7ZS8xrH3FM8gGAAcq5ckfF5yDGjmDHiqUtxxvkNODV9mnT6OkFeiZtE1ps6jdzzRN1wt1XFL-I4p9zeKcNCpLt-FIJUq9Bc-vMnfXCbV7fv8rg0L2EZJIjntiSH6Z-K0Hc0i84q0g/s1600/R1-06635-015A.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 308px; HEIGHT: 183px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664328017694021218" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHXW7ZS8xrH3FM8gGAAcq5ckfF5yDGjmDHiqUtxxvkNODV9mnT6OkFeiZtE1ps6jdzzRN1wt1XFL-I4p9zeKcNCpLt-FIJUq9Bc-vMnfXCbV7fv8rg0L2EZJIjntiSH6Z-K0Hc0i84q0g/s200/R1-06635-015A.jpg" /></a><br /></p><br /><br /><div>However, there were 12 obstacles that we encountered once we had completed a mile of the course. Mostly, they weren't difficult and proved to be what made the run such a fun adventure. One of the men in our group wished there had been even more. We took water proof cameras with us, and snapped photos all along the way. It was more a sight seeing adventure than an actual race for us!<br /><br />As long as heights weren't involved, I was A-OK. I enjoyed the over/unders and took DagoodS' advice and rolled when I encountered the nets we were to crawl across. It was quicker, especially because the people in front of me weighed down the nets, allowing me to roll on an incline. Although I don't enjoy sliding down fire poles, it wasn't difficult to complete that particular obstacle. I maintained my balance walking along planks which were set at angles. </div><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>The barricades and netting that were suppose to keep us firmly on the ground doing a belly crawl, allowed me enough room that I should have just stooped and run but I started out crawling on hands and knees then sped up to use my hands and feet. I'm sure I looked graceful :) I actually enjoyed running across the staggered steps set up on poles but I was concerned about losing my balance, so instead of just leaping from one to the other without pause, I regained my balance briefly before leaping to the next step. They wobbled and I didn't trust myself to land in the middle of each step where they were stable. I though I might be nervous about jumping the flames, but by the time I got to them, they seemed fairly tame compared to the other obstacles. They were higher than I expected, but I remained unsinged!<br /><br />My least favorite activities involved heights. I'm not a fan of those. The cargo net wall was not difficult at all for me, thankfully. And the wall with narrow toe holds which we climbed with a rope wasn't terribly difficult. However, I panicked at the top of one obstacle which was a wall with a sheer surface that was placed at an angle, requiring that we walk up the "hill" at a 45 degree angle while holding on with a rope. I had difficulty figuring out how to get over the top to the other side. My husband kindly held my first foot as I threw it over to give me support and help me feel more confident about releasing my hold on the rope. Another wall also sent me into a bit of a panic at the top. After easily climbing steps to the top, I had to straddle an over sized ledge and swing my legs over till they reached a stair that was several feet down. Again my husband helped hold the first leg I brought over as I had trouble reaching the first stair. Then I had to hold on and let myself side down the sheer, angled wall the rest of the way down. I was worried about splinters, but none found me.<br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 318px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 212px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664348643639503266" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLigjwTq66UbcDm9z4srKLSyWSPgtxNgFtrJzhE1Ea9am3ORdcBiEhANlH2yJAE93EpxxpaJpMf7ZR_ftA6MHiGhjaECZrXkvCVgbgkjGBi61pGItTl1NMQorOhnU5wfsyWQXP4U1TnmM/s320/R1-06634-005A.jpg" /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdoU5v7Rr4HK1dzPpUEUuxGAgOd8ehpEsd543aF0K4DT-J6lY1FIfujiWoCTZeOvdoIJ-9msIwAVvAZqyCwSqEFMx8Q0Tx1OhBg-IJzY90vxPd4hTj7_En2t6IMSwKuxvFrK7sYkj4-2k/s1600/R1-06634-005A.jpg"></a></p><br /><br /><div align="center">(I was still smiling because I hadn't yet tried to climb over any walls. ) </div><br /><br /><br /><div>The mud pit, which was the final obstacle, had one set of barbed wire about 18 inches off the <span style="font-size:0;"></span>surface. I think it was shallow enough to walk over the wire instead of slogging through the mud. However, the crowd at the pit was quite insistent that everyone get thoroughly soaked, so I acquiesced and sunk into the mud up to my chest and went through. My husband was more dramatic and rolled into the mud lengthwise. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>After the race, we subjected ourselves to the (literally) breathtakingly cold water sprayed by firefighters from their hoses to get somewhat cleaned off. After changing into dry clothes, we ate the turkey legs and chicken sandwiches. We all had quite an appetite after our adventure. I would have enjoyed spending more time than we did just listening to the music and people watching. It was entertaining and challenging enough without being too difficult. I highly recommend the Warrior Dash. It's definitely an event to be enjoyed with friends.</div></div>DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-28525273465007740012011-10-02T22:25:00.005-06:002011-10-03T08:00:52.234-06:00A Weekend of Firsts<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGCa_4RPwMIfRPLSAg8VpDxPvLIKmremf4y-vvYTRSLv1snImBOQukxhDX-F-3COwX5BFy0vqUJK13XplCiRl4yEKavfhk5g-F30K3yx2VwFFrOINwcCgQ4KwfGV55chIpiWnq4r4vlUU/s1600/snoopy+close+up2.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGCa_4RPwMIfRPLSAg8VpDxPvLIKmremf4y-vvYTRSLv1snImBOQukxhDX-F-3COwX5BFy0vqUJK13XplCiRl4yEKavfhk5g-F30K3yx2VwFFrOINwcCgQ4KwfGV55chIpiWnq4r4vlUU/s200/snoopy+close+up2.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659265532784442530" /></a><br />This weekend I experienced two firsts: purchasing a puppy and racing in my first <br />5K. Perhaps it was not the best weekend to buy a puppy. Last night, we listened to whining and barking a good bit as we are crating her til she is house trained. At the 5K today, my oldest wanted to leave a few times to go check on his new pet. Though I'm really a cat person, even I am really enjoying our latest addition. She's a beagle/terrier mix, so she's small enough that I am comfortable with her. She's affectionate, smart, and reasonably interested in obeying. She's already trained us to hang out more in our kitchen area as we're not letting her in any other room of the house til we know she's fully house trained. I have learned that raising puppies and running in 5K races have a couple of things in common: they require lots of energy and determination. You may feel like giving in or giving up, but it's worth it to hang in there. <br /><br />I have a really positive first 5K experience. I attended a race that also had a 1 mile fun run as well as activities for the children and a cookout. The boys enjoyed the moon bounce, slide, cotton candy, and ice cream. My husband and I joined our boys in the fun run following my race. My oldest enjoyed racing, though he walked most of it. He surged ahead at the end and beat my youngest by about 20 seconds. This is probably why my youngest said the race was too long and "dumb." And he's my athletic son who usually loves races. <br /><br />I was amused that I was actually a bit nervous before the race. It's not as if I was trying to win anything. I suppose any competitive event where I am being observed by others is bound to create a little anxiety. At the beginning of the race, I wished I wasn't running alone, but I soon set my pace and maintained my usual rhythm, which helped calm my nerves. It was obvious that I was pushing myself a bit harder, as my thigh muscles nearly felt numb by the end of the race. There were two women who kept at about my pace, so I used them as motivation to push myself a bit. I thought it would be a small victory to pass them both, but I only managed to pass one. Ultimately, I ran the race in 34:35. I finished 11 out of 26 for my age group (the nearly over-the-hill category). I won't win any gold medals, but I am pleased to have actually completed a 5K! Especially considering that earlier this summer, I could barely jog a mile without slowing to a walk and laboring to catch my breath. Next on my lists of firsts: The Warrior Dash.DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-77784881238587039412011-09-19T21:57:00.005-06:002011-09-20T00:46:14.174-06:00You Might Be an Atheist Because You Have a Defective FatherI just read a lecture given by Paul C. Vitz that summarizes his book entitled, "Faith of the Fatherless." He looked at the biographies of several prominent 19th and 20th century atheists, notably Freud, Marx, and O'Hair. Apparently in his book, he compares these biographies with those of several notable theists and finds significant differences in their fathers. From this anecdotal evidence he constructs his "defective father hypothesis":<br /><br />...once a child is disappointed in and looses his or her respect for the earthly father, then belief in a heavenly father becomes impossible. <br /><br />In his case studies, he noted that the atheists either have fathers who died early in the atheist's life, intentionally abandoned the family, or were weak or abusive. Vitz himself became an atheist during college, though he eventually became a Christian again later. He noted that, as in his case, individuals may also become an atheist for "superficial reasons", such as personal convenience or a desire to conform to the culture or professional environment. He rejects the assertion that atheism is born out of rationalism. <br /><br />As a psychologist, I'm always interested in the development of belief systems and family background is always one area I inquire about. It would be surprising if family environment didn't play a role in most aspects of our development. Of course, Vitz didn't conduct a rigorous experiment from which we can make bold claims about causation. However, he offers interesting anecdotes that offer insight into important influences on <em>some</em> atheists. He appears to reject the idea that atheism may be born out of a reasoned critique of religion. This is where I question him. Are the only causes a selfish desire to either get ahead or avoid moral constraints or deep psychological anguish inflicted by a defective father? <br /><br />What is your family background and what influences has it had on your religious beliefs or lack thereof? What other factors are involved in shaping these beliefs?<br /><br />As far as my family background, I'll mention my dad's experience before my own. My dad was the 3rd of 5 siblings. He had a lovely mom and an abusive and psychotic dad. The oldest 2 children experienced abuse and witnessed their mom being beaten. My grandfather was removed from the home when my dad was 3 years old, so he was spared the brunt of the trauma. The oldest child, a boy, was mentored by hypocritical men in his church who made a mockery out of their Christian beliefs. He functioned as a surrogate parent to his 3 younger siblings and made them respect their mom and attend church with her, though he became an atheist, of the angry, I'll-do-what-I-please variety. He's lived as a functional alchoholic his entire life, living in reaction to everyone. The other 4 siblings have maintained their Christian beliefs. My dad was lucky enough to get positive mentors from his church who encouraged him to attend college, despite his poverty and family background. My dad became a leader in his church, served others in the community, and helped heal many lives. There's no doubt that the "defective father theory" works to describe my dad and his siblings. <br /><br />As far as I'm concerned, one might expect me not to have the problems hanging on to my Christian beliefs, given the upbringing I had. Christianity was modeled in a positive way by my parents who practiced it sincerely and devoutly. Christianity felt comfortable and protective, not like a burden of morally repressive rules. The defective father theory doesn't work for me, nor do the superficial reasons. It's to my benefit, professionally and socially to remain orthodox within my faith community. I have no desire to be morally unrestrained either. Though my initial questioning did come from intense revulsion to the doctrine of hell and cognitive dissonance in understanding it in the context of belief in a loving God, subsequent study did nothing but undermine my belief system. <br /><br />Of course, the validity of our beliefs aren't determined by the reasons we hold them, but it's instructive to understand how we arrive at our conclusions.DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-39180957971330933182011-09-19T08:36:00.003-06:002011-09-19T08:59:21.608-06:00Warrior Dash Here I Come!The Warrior Dash in St. Louis is only a month away. Race day is Oct. 15. I have decided to take a chance and race with my husband and his three friends. My husband thinks this is a great idea. We'll see! I'm going to race in a traditional 5K on Oct 2 as a test run. I don't think my first 5K experience should be the Warrior Dash! I just learned that a friend from elementary school will be competing in the Warrior Dash as well. It would be an added bonus to see her again. My step-brother and his wife just completed the Tennessee Warrior Dash yesterday and declared it "awesome". Of course, they've been running for years so it wasn't overly challenging for them. <br /> <br />I find that running continues to become easier for me and that I can run longer than 5K. I suppose this means that I really could increase my speed instead of increasing the distance. I think I'm concerned that I'll run out of steam if I speed up much. Maybe I'll work on letting that fear go next run. My main concern continues to be my knees. They are much improved now that I only jog on dirt. I haven't bought new shoes yet as we've been dealing with extra expenses. However, I think I need to go on a buy some soon if I'm going to continue jogging. I've also read that wrapping my knees may help. Any ideas about that? There are a variety of wraps as well as recommendations for putting ice as well as heat on my knees. I don't want to do the exact opposite of what I need!DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-49266634517465164752011-08-30T07:53:00.004-06:002011-08-30T08:16:43.544-06:00Confirmation Bias ExposedI've been slowly working through Michael Shermer's book, The Believing Brain. It's a fascinating read, particularly for anyone with minimal interest in the neuropsychology of belief development. I'll probably write several posts highlighting interesting points from his book. Today I want to share one study he described on confirmation bias, which is our tendency to look for evidence which confirms our preexisting beliefs and ignore disconfirming evidence. We do this all the time. It's useful in detecting frequent patterns, allowing us to act quickly and decisively. Unfortunately, it sometimes leads to unjustified beliefs: just ask the mischievous kid who gets accused of every act of shenanigans the teacher learns about. There are times when that kid is actually minding his own business and working on his assignments!
<br />
<br />One interesting study of die hard Republicans and Democrats showed the neurological activity behind confirmation bias:
<br />
<br />"during the run-up to the 2004 presidential election, while undergoing a brain scan, thirty men-half self-described "strong" Republicans and half "strong" Democrats-were tasked with assessing statements by both Georg W. Bush and John Kerry in which the candidates clearly contradicted themselves. Not surprisingly, in their assessments of the candidates, Republican subjects were as critical of Kerry as Democratic subjects were of Bush, yet both let their own preferred candidate off the evaluative hook. Of course. But what was especially revealing were the neuroimaging results: the part of the brain most associated with reasoning-the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex-was quiescent. Most active were the orbital frontal cortex, which is involved in the processing of emotions, and the anterior cingulate cortex-our old friend the ACC, which is so active in patternicity processing and conflict resolution. Interestingly, once subjects had arrived at a conclusion that made them emotionally comfortable, their ventral striatum-a part of the brain associated with reward-became active.
<br />
<br />In other words, instead of rationally evaluating a candidate's positions on this or that issue, or analyzing the planks of each candidates' platform, we have an emotional reaction to conflicting data. We rationalize away the parts that do not fit our preconceived beliefs about a candidate, then receive a reward in the form of a neurochemical hit, probably dopamine."
<br />
<br />This helps explain how we can look at the same facts as someone else or as our self from one year ago, and reach vastly different conclusions.
<br />
<br />When have you realized that your rational argument for something was actually confirmation bias at work? DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.com4