tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post5050986455235570576..comments2023-04-10T04:06:30.195-06:00Comments on Think and Wonder. Wonder and Think...: What to do with Family?DoOrDoNothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15775977854913362396noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-74323921266738273062010-09-20T07:35:38.487-06:002010-09-20T07:35:38.487-06:00Good question. (Of course)
Within my family, ther...Good question. (Of course)<br /><br />Within my family, there are certain levels of familiarity, just like friends. Some I am closer to; others I am not.<br /><br />My immediate family (as typical in any confrontational issue) swept it under the rug as soon as possible and aggressively ignore it as much as possible. At first there were some hesitant awkwardness—an occasional, “Didn’t God give us a great…day….to……..play………golf?” One could palpably sense the instant they realize what they were saying to whom.<br /><br />We have had our family (from my father down, with all seven siblings & their kids) Christmas at our house for a number of years. In 2004, when I announced my atheism, it was decided to hold Christmas at my sister’s for the first time….ever. After two years of it, she became a bit tired of holding it (we have a good-sized family) and it switched back to my home.<br /><br />When the family was all together, I asked my dad to say a prayer before we ate. You see feel the release of tension. (Hey—so what if it was my house? The majority [i.e. all but me at the time] are Christians--let them have their ceremony.) Looking back, I think this may be the moment when they realized I wouldn’t be shoving atheism down anyone’s throat. <br /><br />My immediate family knows…and ignores it. I have told some of the extended family, who I am closer to, but not others. If they bring it up, I tend to be non-committal. Responding with “That’s nice” or “A good thought.” My profession has instilled a very good ability to give an answer that sounds supportive, but isn’t really.<br /><br />I figure, why bring in such confrontation? Those that truly know me…know. Those that don’t have a need…do not. They don’t need some atheist blasting away about historical evidence surrounding Judean burial rites to explain contradictions in gospel accounts. <br /><br />When people ask, “How are you doing?” they want to hear “Fine.” They don’t want a detailed account of your last physical exam. When they ask, “So what church are you attending?” they want to hear some nice answer, (“First Church of Second Street on the Third Sunday.”) I’d probably answer, “I don’t attend church” and if pressed further would continue with, “There really isn’t a church that has quite suited our needs” and leave it at that. Most would prefer not to press it; just like they wouldn’t press too much about any physical affliction I was having.DagoodShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04557451438888314932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3767755611010523671.post-1689196228521658792010-09-18T11:54:48.316-06:002010-09-18T11:54:48.316-06:00I've had a couple of conversations which were ...I've had a couple of conversations which were less than satisfying. One, I had been reading Brian McLaren, and the person I was talking to had not read McLaren, he had only read a book written as a rejection of McLaren's work. and I think I talked too much and too passionately about it.<br /><br />All that to say, I generally go with the smile and nod thing. Though I very much relate to what you said, "<em>I no longer feel like this reevaluation/deconstruction of my faith is a dark blot on my soul that must be hidden from others out of embarrassment or fear for what it means about me.</em>" It certainly shouldn't be.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com